1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000 [♪ "The Man With The Bag" playing] 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,280 - [clattering] - [dog yelps] 3 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,120 Oh. [chuckles] 4 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,280 Gertrude. 5 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,839 [Rupert] Seems like you've been a very naughty girl this year, Nathalie. 6 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,319 I'm so sorry, Santa. 7 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:36,199 Are you gonna have to stuff my stocking with a great big lump of coal? 8 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,680 I'm afraid so. 9 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,000 [music continues] 10 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,400 "Darling Taggie". 11 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,440 What's this say? I can't read the writing. 12 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,119 "Darling Taggie, So sorry for being such a colossal shit. 13 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,080 Have a lovely Christmas. With love, R." 14 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,400 What? 15 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,239 Oh, my God. [pants] 16 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,559 Caitlin, look. 17 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,080 It's beautiful. 18 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,479 [chuckles] It's from Ralphie. 19 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,599 He's buying you bracelets, Tag. 20 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,999 He loves you. 21 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,479 Oh, my God. You should invite him to Patrick's birthday party. 22 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,039 - He's already invited. - [gasps] 23 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,919 This party's gonna be completely epic. 24 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,839 [chuckling] Oh, my God. [sighs] 25 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,880 Yay! [groans] 26 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,720 [♪ opera music playing] 27 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,280 [engine rumbling] 28 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:10,959 [Caitlin] Come on, Mummy. 29 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,679 But if you had to have sex with one of them, which would it be? 30 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,719 Jesus, Judas or Pontius Pilate? 31 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,919 Well, Pontius obviously. Much better parties. 32 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,559 Oh, Jesus would be so preachy. 33 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,199 Really? I always thought you liked a chatty fella. 34 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,280 [doorbell rings] 35 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,159 Who the fuck turns up during Christmas dinner? 36 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,719 Maybe it's Rupert. 37 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,040 [sighs] Better not be. 38 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,760 [barks] 39 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,720 [barking continues] 40 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,919 - [Caitlin gasps] - [Declan exclaims] 41 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,199 - Patrick! [groans, chuckles] - [chuckles] Look who it is. 42 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,559 Oh, my darling. 43 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,279 [sighs] We weren't expecting you till the 28th. 44 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,519 Lavinia and I broke up. 45 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,599 She didn't like the first edition Kafka I got her. 46 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,759 [Caitlin chuckles] What? 47 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,519 [Taggie] How can someone break up with you over a gift? 48 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,400 [Patrick] Well, I was the one that broke up with her. 49 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,480 She didn't have much celestial light. 50 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,079 And I think if you really like someone, there's meant to be more celestial light. 51 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,039 I can't believe my baby boy is going to be 21. 52 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,639 That makes us officially old. 53 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,920 [Maud] Hey, speak for yourself. What have you brought us? 54 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,040 Dirty washing for Taggie. 55 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,520 Merry Christmas, my darling. 56 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,480 - [Taggie] I've missed you. [groans] - [Declan] Come on, kids. Let's eat. 57 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,519 [Taggie chuckles] I'm not doing that, you know? 58 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,799 I'm starving. 59 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,440 [line ringing] 60 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,399 - [Helen] Hello. - Hi, Helen. Me again. 61 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,679 Are the kids around? 62 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,360 [Helen] Oh, sorry. Bad timing. We're just watching a movie. 63 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,640 Perhaps you could try again tomorrow. 64 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,919 Tomorrow's not Christmas. 65 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,320 Yeah, but I get them on Christmas, so... 66 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,480 [whispers] Did they at least like their presents? 67 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,720 Let's speak tomorrow. Bye. 68 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,920 [children chuckling] 69 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,400 [sighs] 70 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,040 Right. 71 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,719 You ready for me to come down your chimney? 72 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,320 [chuckles] 73 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,360 [grunts] 74 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,999 [♪ radio jingle playing] 75 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,519 [radio host] It's New Year's Eve, and as we say goodbye to 1986, 76 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,439 who will you be kissing at the stroke of midnight tonight? 77 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,919 [Lizzie] Morning. 78 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,439 You have no idea what I had to promise the farmer to get all these eggs. 79 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,400 - [Caitlin chuckles] - Oh, thank you so much, Lizzie. 80 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,319 Do chickens orgasm? 81 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,479 No, the cock doesn't even penetrate them. 82 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,280 - Oh. That's so sad. - [Lizzie] Some might see it as a blessing. 83 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,679 Turns out neither the chicken nor the egg came first. 84 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,280 [Caitlin chuckles] 85 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,960 - So, did you or Ralphie come first? - Caitlin. 86 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,800 Who's Ralphie? 87 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,959 - Patrick's friend. - Ah, yes. 88 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,479 He's totally in love with Taggie. He sent her a bracelet. 89 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,199 - Stop it. - Oh, Taggie. It's lovely. 90 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,279 Thank you. 91 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,359 Is he coming tonight? 92 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,599 Girls, which one of you two bloody thieves have my cream? 93 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,439 I forgot to get a bikini line wax. 94 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,079 Hello, Lizzie. 95 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,879 [kisses] Am I seeing you later? 96 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,400 - I wouldn't miss it. [chuckles] - [chuckling] Great. 97 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,719 - The cream. - Top bathroom. 98 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,960 - [Lizzie chuckles] - See you tonight, Lizzie. 99 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,319 Mummy's already tried on at least 15 dresses, 100 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,119 and each one is smaller than the last. 101 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,159 How long do you think it's gonna take her to ensnare Rupert tonight? 102 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,199 Mummy wouldn't do that to Daddy. Not again. 103 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,359 Yes, she would. 104 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,119 Daddy's been working non-stop. 105 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,079 I bet you anything Mummy's gonna go for Rupert. 106 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,759 Well, I don't think Rupert's even coming. 107 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,160 - [Caitlin] Hmm. - Let's hope not. 108 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,999 Don't work too hard tonight. 109 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,440 Make sure you find some time for your lovely Ralphie. 110 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,800 He's a lucky boy. 111 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,880 [Seb] Uh, we've done all this research on Rupert, 112 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,400 but what if he won't agree to be interviewed? 113 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,119 Don't worry. He will. 114 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,879 All right. So we start with the horsewhipping 115 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,479 and move up to the cabinet minister's wife and his daughter. 116 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,560 Wrong. English people care more about horses than they do women. 117 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,040 We end with the horses and the Olympics. 118 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,839 Imagine if this works. 119 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,719 We annihilate the smug fucker on national television. 120 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,959 Hello. [sniffs] What time do you want us all for the party tonight, Declan? 121 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,239 Oh. Wasn't expecting to see you there, Charles. 122 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,759 Um, eight o'clock should be grand. 123 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,159 [stammers] Are you okay, Charles? You look a little worn. 124 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,639 Uh, my mother's not been very well. 125 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,839 There's only me, so it's not been easy. 126 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,279 - Sorry. - [inhales sharply, chuckles] 127 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:35,119 Uh, will you be gracing us with one of your stunning frocks tonight? 128 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,999 She's invited you too, has she? 129 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,199 Yeah, but I-I deci-- 130 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,079 No, we agreed she should stay here and help Deirdre and Seb 131 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,879 with the New Year's Eve feeds instead. 132 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,159 Yeah. I decided not to go. 133 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,800 [Tony] Someone's gotta keep the lights on. 134 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,199 And Cinderella will go to the ball, just not this one. 135 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,959 Happy New Year, all. 136 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,999 - Oh, good. Daysee's opening champagne. - Oh, Christ. 137 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,559 It'd be quieter to work from home. 138 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,600 - Let's pick this up next week, yeah? - [Tony] Come on, Deirdre. 139 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,719 - [Daysee] Champagne, Declan? - No, thanks. 140 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,480 I'll see you at your party later. 141 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 [sighs] 142 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,399 Paddy's still behaving then? 143 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,559 Oh, yes. Declan's my pussycat. Happy New Year. 144 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,040 [glasses clink] 145 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,040 Maud! 146 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,400 For fuck's sake. 147 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,080 - Oop-- - Maud! 148 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,719 - How many people did you invite? - A few. Why? 149 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,559 Because I thought we said 30, 150 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,120 but you've invited everybody from the bloody office. 151 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,000 Are you trying to kill me? Hmm? 152 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,359 You've taken me out of a fucking city 153 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,839 - where I had actual friends... - [sighs] F-- 154 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,239 ...and an actual life, and you've plopped me in the back of beyond. 155 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,479 So, yes, Declan, I am having a party. 156 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:01,799 I need a party. 157 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,159 You need a party, and it's our son's birthday, for God's sake. 158 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,199 Still paying off the bloody London leaving do. 159 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,479 Well, that's hardly my fault, is it? 160 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,719 I'm not the one that brought us to this bloody kip. 161 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,919 And anyway, I'm very busy. 162 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,800 I still have to work out where everybody's going to sit. 163 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,720 The cavalry's here. 164 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,479 [sighs] 165 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,119 Don't expect too much from Mr Makepiece. 166 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,639 He's next to useless. 167 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,799 - I'm here, aren't I? - Thank you so much. 168 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,359 We're never gonna be ready in time. 169 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,240 Hi, I'm Shelley. 170 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,240 I like your top. 171 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,480 [Mrs Makepiece] Any time today, Kevin. 172 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,279 I didn't realise we were on the clock, Mother. 173 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,359 Hand me that peeler and we'll be done in a jiffy. 174 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,639 It'll be all right, Taggie. 175 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:46,960 Oh, thank you. 176 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,639 Why would you want to sit next to him after what he did to me? 177 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,280 Oh, don't be so overdramatic, darling. 178 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,880 I'd consider yourself lucky if I were you. 179 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,080 [grunting] 180 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,160 Maud! 181 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:27,600 Maud! 182 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:48,879 Are you sure there's enough? 183 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,719 Oh, God. Probably not. 184 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:51,840 I'll peel some more. 185 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,480 Fuck me. 186 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,480 [mouthing words] Fuck me. 187 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,880 Ralphie's here. He's just unpacking the car. 188 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,359 Oh, thank you. That's so sweet of you. 189 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,399 The journey from London was frightful. 190 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,359 Oh, I'm sorry. This is Ralphie's room. 191 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,999 Mine too. I'm Georgina, his girlfriend. 192 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,440 [Ralphie] Hello, Tag. 193 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,239 I hope it's okay to squeeze us both in. 194 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,439 Patrick did say I was allowed a plus-one. 195 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,520 [Taggie stammers] 196 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,680 Um, of course. I-- I'll bring a second towel. [chuckles] 197 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,040 [sobbing] 198 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:02,520 [sighs] 199 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,599 [Patrick] I'm so sorry, Tag. I didn't know. 200 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,359 I can't believe I'm so stupid. 201 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,920 You are not stupid. 202 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,399 You're one of the most insightful people I've ever met. 203 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,039 Insightful? I'm the opposite of insightful. 204 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,759 I'm just a stupid one-night stand. 205 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,519 You're too good for him. Taggie, seriously. 206 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,119 He's not worthy of you. 207 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,719 There'll be other boys here tonight. Show him what he's missing. 208 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,200 You're the best person ever, Tag. 209 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,720 [♪ "Love Action (I Believe in Love)" playing] 210 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,199 Give us a smile, Mr Vereker. 211 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,760 Uh, if I must. 212 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,000 Tights, Lizzie. Tights. 213 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,680 [Lizzie] Oh, no. Oh, when did that happen? 214 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,639 - Come on. Thank you. - I'm really sorry. 215 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,480 - I don't know why I-- - Just keep walking. Keep walking! 216 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,719 Oh, wow. Paparazzi. 217 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,800 All right, no drinking. You can only talk to Caitlin. 218 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,199 Are there gonna be lots of people from telly here tonight? 219 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,000 Yeah, all the stars. 220 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,120 You'll be shining the brightest though, my angel. 221 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,360 [chattering, laughing] 222 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,159 Where did she find them all? 223 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,519 It's like a UN convention. 224 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,039 [Freddie] It's terrific, innit? 225 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,000 Wayne, follow me. 226 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,440 - Freddie. - [Freddie] You all right, Tone? 227 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,719 I've been looking at your development plans... 228 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:34,639 Oh, yes. 229 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,399 ...and I wanted to talk to you about whether anime 230 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,360 could be a good area to investigate. 231 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,239 It's New Year's Eve, Freddie. We should be celebrating, not working. 232 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,799 What about a cooking competition? 233 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,079 - They ain't done that yet, have they? - Ah. 234 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,399 That sounds smashing, Freddie. 235 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,919 Yeah, we've been having ideas all night. Ain't we, Wayne? 236 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,359 - [Wayne] Yeah. - [Freddie] I'll catch you later. 237 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,279 So, how do I look? 238 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,519 Like the newest member of the Corinium board? 239 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:59,439 Now Campbell-Black has said no, they'll need a local MP more than ever. 240 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,320 You look very like a local MP. 241 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,080 Thank you. 242 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,279 Tony. Tony. Tony. 243 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,960 Just need a word. Um... 244 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,440 What perfect timing. I was worried I was late. 245 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,239 Meet me at the folly at midnight. 246 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,800 - I'll see you there. - Yeah. 247 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,439 What a load of posh cunts. 248 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,559 [scoffs] We're gonna have to get off with one of these posh cunts tonight, Kev, 249 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,960 'cause marrying one's the only way we're gonna get out of this bumfuck town. 250 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,759 I thought there were meant to be celebrities here. 251 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,000 - Well, there's definitely one. - Where? 252 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,519 Oh, my God. Is that Joanna Lumley at two o'clock? 253 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,479 [laughing] 254 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,880 Um, be right back. 255 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,759 - Uh, Joanna. - [Sarah] Oh, I really love Joanna Lumley. 256 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,919 I think this is such a nice dress. I really like it. 257 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,559 - [Daysee] You like it? - Yeah. It's very pink. 258 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,199 - It looks really good on you. - [Daysee] Oh, thanks. [stammers] 259 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,639 [music continues] 260 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,960 I think we can have another drink. 261 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,480 Where's your mother? 262 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,519 [camel grunting] 263 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,040 [partygoers gasping, cheering] 264 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,519 - [whistling] - Oh, my God. 265 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,599 [laughing] 266 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,919 - [cheering continues] - [sighs] 267 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,360 Jesus Christ. 268 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,200 [chuckles] 269 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,199 [Basil] My, my, my. 270 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,279 - Very good. - Yeah. 271 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,079 Tell you what, Declan is a lucky man. 272 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,519 What I wouldn't give to be ridden like that camel. 273 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,760 - Darling. Absolutely fabulous. - Oh. [scoffs] 274 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,520 [Maud chuckles] 275 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,519 - Come on then. - [camel grunts] 276 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,159 - You always knew how to make an entrance. - [Maud chuckles] 277 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,359 Did you have to practise on the camel? 278 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,600 Maud can get most beasts to do what she wants. 279 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,799 [guest] When are you gonna come back to London, hmm, 280 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,159 and let me immortalise you in one of my films? 281 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,399 Ugh. You should have offered me that when I was there. 282 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,679 It's too late now. I'm stuck in this godawful prison. 283 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,440 It's hardly Colditz, my love. 284 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,399 Have we met? Sure I've seen your face before. 285 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,599 No, I don't believe we have. 286 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,559 Tony, this is Patrick's godfather, Malhar Verma. 287 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,079 Malhar, this is Tony Baddingham, 288 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,079 ruthless businessman who controls the arts in the south-west. 289 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:27,240 Tony, Malhar, brilliant film-maker and, uh... [clears throat] ...terrible scoundrel. 290 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,519 I imagine you'll both get on very well. 291 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,279 - [Tony, Malhar chuckle] - [Declan] Mm-hmm. 292 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,920 [sighing] 293 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,440 [Lizzie] Oh, hello. 294 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,680 I thought if we all came in, they'd be more likely to feed us. 295 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,559 Great minds. 296 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,680 [Freddie grunts] 297 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,360 Ooh. 298 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,840 - Don't tell Valerie. - I wouldn't dream of it. 299 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000 Thank you. 300 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:03,800 Hmm. 301 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,759 James is cross with me for having a ladder in my tights. 302 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,320 - Really? - Yeah. 303 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,359 I love a ladder. 304 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:13,840 Stairway to heaven and all that. 305 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,719 As it was Knots Landing I just drew the line at-- 306 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,319 Mum, it's almost ten. If we don't eat soon, it's gonna be "indelible." 307 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,560 Inedible, darling. And I'm sorry but-- [gasps] 308 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,999 Ooh. [breathes deeply] 309 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,920 [♪ "The Look of Love" playing] 310 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:40,000 [Maud] Yes. Darling, go ahead. It's definitely time to eat. 311 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:41,640 Go on. 312 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,759 [chuckles] Rupert. 313 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,879 My God. If I knew you were wearing this, I would've come earlier. 314 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:56,880 [chuckles] Well, you're here now, and that's all that matters. 315 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,160 Take this. 316 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,559 No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 317 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,479 No, I wouldn't if I were you. Do what you do best. 318 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,199 Dig up his skeletons, lure him onto your show, 319 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,280 humiliate him in front of millions. 320 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,480 [♪ opera music playing] 321 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,239 All right. That's Athens down. How we doing on the Paris feed? 322 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,439 Mm-hmm. Parfait, mademoiselle. Parfait. 323 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,799 Au revoir, 1986. 324 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,520 Bonjour, 1987. 325 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,440 Tea? Really, Deirdre? It's goddamn New Year's Eve. 326 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,839 I don't get New Year's. 327 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,760 It's like birthdays, just another year closer to death. 328 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,119 It's not really for us singletons, is it? 329 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,919 We've not got anything to celebrate. 330 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,679 [inhales heavily] No one's waiting to kiss us at midnight. 331 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,119 Well, the difference between you and I, Deirdre, 332 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,039 is that I don't wait around to be kissed by somebody. 333 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,240 If I wanna kiss someone, I do it. 334 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,839 [slurps] 335 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,920 [cheering] 336 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,959 So, is your sister ever gonna forgive me? 337 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,960 [Caitlin] Um, I doubt it. 338 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,760 Did she like the bracelet I got her? 339 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,679 Fuck. Sorry. 340 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,440 - We all thought it was from Ralphie. - Who's Ralphie? 341 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,399 - Him. - [laughs] 342 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,759 Taggie's mad about him, 343 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,399 but he turned up with his girlfriend and now she's broken-hearted. 344 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,880 You signed a "R", so we all just presumed it was R for Ralphie. 345 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,520 She can do better than that. 346 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,599 Do you ski, Rupert? 347 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,919 [Rupert] Yeah. Love it. 348 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,160 I bet you're terribly good at it. Isn't it all in the hips? 349 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,679 [Rupert, Maud laughing] 350 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,039 [Monica] Oh. I never see him. It's just work, work, work. 351 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,280 I mean, Tony's obsessed, of course. He can barely think of anything else. 352 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,520 Oh, don't worry about Rupert. 353 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,439 Bertie Berkshire once described him as a particularly nasty virus 354 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,399 that one's wife caught soon rather than later. 355 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,360 - Hmm. - Oh, Rupert can't resist the conquest. 356 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:11,000 While others adore the chase. A clever wife is easily bored. 357 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,960 The bracelet's from Rupert. 358 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,079 - [Taggie] What? - It's "R" for Rupert. 359 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,759 He feels bad for touching you up at the Jones's. 360 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,999 [Mrs Makepiece] Sounds right. 361 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,359 Too much money. Too little sense. 362 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,560 What are you gonna do, Tag? 363 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,959 [partygoers] ♪ ...dear Patrick ♪ 364 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:49,319 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 365 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,680 [cheering] 366 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,240 [whistling] 367 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,400 [Declan] Today we celebrate my son, Patrick, 368 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,040 who was born New Year's Eve, 21 years ago. 369 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:11,680 My son makes me prouder than any father ever was. 370 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:20,920 Yeats wrote, "Life is a long preparation for something that never happens". 371 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,200 But when I look at my son... 372 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,880 I think Yeats was wrong. 373 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:33,959 My son was a brilliant boy who is now a brilliant man. 374 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,959 - He has happened. - [partygoers cheering] 375 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,479 So please raise your glasses for my clever boy, now a man. 376 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,599 - To Patrick. - [partygoers] To Patrick! 377 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,040 Patrick, the man. 378 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,519 - [Maud] Your turn, darling. - [grunts] Thank you, Dad. 379 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:54,599 Um, and thanks, Mom, for throwing another of your wonderful parties. 380 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,999 - [Declan, Maud chuckle] - Mmm. 381 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,400 Uh, but most of all, I'd-- I'd like to thank-- 382 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,960 [♪ opera music playing] 383 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,560 [partygoers murmur] 384 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,320 Holy shit. 385 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,800 Celestial light. 386 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,880 Ten... 387 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:25,279 [partygoers] Nine, eight, seven, six... 388 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,719 He's gone too early. It's n-- 389 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,320 [partygoers] ...five, four, 390 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:34,599 three, two, one. 391 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,119 Happy New Year! 392 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,560 [cheering] 393 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,160 Happy New Year. 394 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,160 [cheering continues] 395 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,320 [♪ singing "Auld Lang Syne"] 396 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,040 Happy New Year, darling. 397 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,880 [partygoers continue singing] 398 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,200 You're very confident, aren't you? 399 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,360 Yeah. I am. 400 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,440 [partygoers sing in distance] 401 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:43,920 [breathes shakily] 402 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,759 - Thank you for coming. - Of course. [unzips pants] 403 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,440 I-- I-- I wanted to ask you something first. 404 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,440 [zipper closes] 405 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,639 [breathes deeply] 406 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,279 [both chuckle] 407 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:02,999 I-- I-- I-- I wondered whether I could give you this. 408 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,760 [stammers] That way we-- we wouldn't have to sneak about. 409 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,600 You could come and go as you pleased. 410 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,240 You could think of it as your home too if you like. 411 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,960 [breathing heavily] 412 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,680 [chuckles] Well, I'm terribly flattered, obviously, 413 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,280 but I-- I'm sorry, Charles. I presumed you'd understand. 414 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,720 If I want to do anything political, I need to find myself... 415 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:32,400 a wife. 416 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,280 Right. 417 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,519 Yes, of course. 418 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,040 How silly of me. [chuckles] 419 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,439 [sighing] Probably had a bit too much to drink. 420 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,719 - [chuckles] - Emotional evening. 421 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,679 - Uh... [inhales shakily] ...silly. Sorry. - No, I'm s-sorry. 422 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,000 Don't be. [inhales sharply] 423 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:54,560 I'm fine. 424 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:59,679 Now, get back in there and find yourself Mrs Middleton. 425 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,160 Go on. Hurry up. 426 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,400 [chuckles] 427 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,320 [Charles breathes heavily, chuckles] 428 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,320 [breathes shakily] 429 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,560 [breathes shakily] 430 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,360 [crying] 431 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,640 [breathing deeply] 432 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:40,560 [sighs] 433 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,520 Can you please stop working? Come and dance. 434 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,639 [vomits] 435 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:52,720 [spits] 436 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,439 Sorry. [pants] 437 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,159 Massive queue for the loo. 438 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,839 [sighs] 439 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,200 That's better. 440 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,559 Are there any more chipolatas left? 441 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,280 [sighs] 442 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,240 Yeah. Come on then. 443 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,360 Great. 444 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,400 [♪ "The Lady In Red" playing] 445 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,119 I didn't realise this was from you. 446 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:23,559 I can't accept it. 447 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,200 It's an apology for the other day. 448 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,440 Fine. I'll accept the apology, just not the bracelet. 449 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,320 [inhales deeply] Fine. 450 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,880 You scare me a little. 451 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,560 How can I scare you? 452 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,159 I can see myself quite clearly reflected in your eyes, 453 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,680 and for once, I'm not sure I like what I see. 454 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:01,880 Anyone can change. 455 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:05,360 I might be an exception. 456 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:12,800 Sorry. I'm-- 457 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,200 I'm not very good at dancing. 458 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,560 You're doing fine. 459 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,399 Caitlin told me about the mix-up. 460 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,640 Um, I'm sorry. 461 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,200 I'll be sure to write my whole name the next time I send you a present. 462 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,680 [music continues] 463 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:25,440 [stammers] 464 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,439 [stammers] I need to finish the kedgeree. 465 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,600 Bye. 466 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:40,480 [Sarah] Hey. 467 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,320 You've been ignoring me all night. 468 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,519 Um... [clears throat] ...no, I haven't. 469 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,999 Yes, you have, and you haven't called for ages. 470 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,439 I don't mind my husband being disappointing, 471 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,359 but I expect more from a lover. 472 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,879 I don't expect anything from you, Sarah, 473 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,560 and I'd hope the feeling was mutual. 474 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,320 [breathes shakily] 475 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,600 You're looking stunning again this evening, Sarah. 476 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:13,239 [chuckles] 477 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,440 You ever considered a career in television? 478 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:17,879 You should. 479 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,160 The camera loved you on Behind Every Famous Man. 480 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,840 Oh. [chuckles] 481 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,360 [both chuckle] 482 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,880 [breathing heavily] 483 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:38,840 [slurps] 484 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,240 [inhales shakily] 485 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:44,959 [sighs] 486 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,159 [cheering] 487 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,320 [♪ "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" playing] 488 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,559 Tony's just asked me to screen test for him. 489 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,479 Oh, wow. 490 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,999 Do you think he's trying to get into my pants? 491 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,839 Maybe, but he's currently in Cameron's. She's his mistress. 492 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,960 But perhaps he's looking for a replacement. 493 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,799 - Who are you? - Archie. 494 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,759 - Who are you? - Caitlin. 495 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,199 - Where'd you go to school? - Upmount House. You? 496 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,559 Rugborough. 497 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,119 What do Upmount House girls and tampons have in common? 498 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,959 - I don't know. - They're both stuck-up cunts. 499 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,520 - [laughs] - [Archie chuckles] 500 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,200 I've got some Malibu upstairs. 501 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,879 Sit down, Fred-Fred. You're embarrassing yourself. 502 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:50,960 Ah, come here. 503 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:52,839 [sighs, clicks tongue] 504 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,799 Ugh. [breathes heavily] 505 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,120 [grunts] 506 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,200 [both chuckling] 507 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:38,600 [sighs] 508 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,680 [sighs] 509 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,880 - [♪ music playing] - [partygoers chattering] 510 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:03,520 Yeah. 511 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,440 Any New Year's resolutions? 512 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:11,519 [Monica] Ah, I think I would probably wish for things to remain exactly as they are. 513 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:13,439 For no one to rock the boat, as it were. 514 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,079 [Rupert] I quite like my boat being rocked. 515 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,359 Rupert. 516 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,600 May I speak to you for a moment please, alone? 517 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:20,240 Of course. 518 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,799 That dress is really quite something. 519 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,200 [chuckles] Well, my dress thanks you. 520 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,119 You know, I've been noticing 521 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,919 that you've been a more frequent visitor here recently. 522 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,760 It's almost like there's something that you want. 523 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,839 Clever you. I don't think I realised myself before tonight. 524 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,439 Well, I'm more astute than your average bear. 525 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,399 And you don't think I'm being a dreadful cad? 526 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:57,000 Oh. Well, I mean, obviously you are, but we both know that. 527 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,399 I appear to be a little stuck. 528 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,319 [chuckles] That doesn't sound like you. 529 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:07,480 Seems a little pointless being shy, given all your experience. 530 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:15,520 There's something so different about Taggie. 531 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,120 T-- Taggie? 532 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,200 Taggie? My Taggie? 533 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,079 I'm sorry. I-- 534 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,000 Oh, my God. She's a bloody child, Rupert. 535 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,360 She's a dim-witted child who can't even read. Are you-- 536 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,440 Oh, I know. You're scared of women your own age, is that it? 537 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:45,880 How dare you? 538 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,239 [door opens, creaks] 539 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,760 [breathing shakily] 540 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,239 [sighs] 541 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,040 Keeping it in the family, eh, Rupert? 542 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,639 "To and fro we leap and chase the frothy bubbles, 543 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,960 while all the world is full of troubles and anxious in its sleep. 544 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:23,079 Come away, O human child, with a fairy, hand in hand, 545 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,080 for the world is more full of weeping than he can understand". 546 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,159 [breathes shakily] 547 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:36,240 "How many loved your moments of glad grace, 548 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,759 and loved your beauty with love false or true, 549 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,759 but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, 550 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,960 and loved the sorrows of your changing face". 551 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,600 - [gasps, breathes shakily] - [Cameron] What's going on? 552 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,039 It's just another parental drama. 553 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,279 [Maud cries] 554 00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,960 I'm sorry. 555 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,160 - [Declan] Come on. - [breathes shakily] 556 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:08,439 [sniffles] 557 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,000 [partygoers chattering] 558 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,840 Excuse us. Thank you. 559 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,639 Here, Tone. Any idea where our kids might be? 560 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,599 Been waiting for our coats for at least ten minutes. 561 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,840 I mean, I've got no idea where the help is... [stammers] ...It's utter chaos. 562 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,759 [Tony] Taggie, where are the children? 563 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,759 Um... [stammers] ...I think they're up in Caitlin's room. Second floor. 564 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,080 [Tony] Please retrieve our coats. Thank you, Taggie. 565 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,240 - [sighs] Excuse me. - [Tony] It's this way. 566 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,199 [Valerie speaks indistinctly] 567 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,799 [chuckling] 568 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,479 [panting] 569 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:45,519 [Valerie shrieks] 570 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,039 [panting] 571 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,119 How delightfully ambitious of you, little brother. 572 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,679 [pants] Thank you. I try. 573 00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,319 Oh, God. Felicity. 574 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,759 I didn't see you down there. [chuckles] 575 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,039 [chuckling] 576 00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,760 - [Basil moaning] - [Valerie] Fred-Fred. 577 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:05,880 [Monica] This is pathetic. 578 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,480 - [Valerie] Disgusting. - [Freddie] Kids! 579 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,080 [Charles cries] 580 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:22,560 [sighs] 581 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,040 Mr Fairburn? 582 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,080 - What's wrong? - [breathes shakily] I don't exist. 583 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,039 - Sorry? - [Charles sighs] 584 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,160 [Charles] My mother doesn't know who I am. 585 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,880 The only person who ever loved me... 586 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,839 and now she doesn't recognise me. 587 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,479 [cries] 588 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,119 And soon she'll be gone... 589 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,840 [sniffles, cries] ...and I'll have no one. 590 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:56,679 Do you even really exist... [sniffles] ...if no one sees you're there? 591 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,319 [sobbing] 592 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,680 Yes. [stammers] I think so. 593 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:03,400 I hope so. 594 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,360 [sobs] 595 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:08,480 Oh, my God. 596 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,759 [groans, grunting] 597 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,519 Um. Uh, what can I do? 598 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,559 What can I-- Um... 599 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,800 - [grunting] Oh, my God. - [Taggie] Oh, my God. 600 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:22,680 [Tony] Archie. 601 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,439 Archie. 602 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:30,720 Oh, God. 603 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,319 Mum, I'm vibrating. 604 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,279 - Look. - [Freddie] Oh, yeah? [chuckles] 605 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,719 Don't be ridiculous, Wayne. Get out, we're going home. Now, Sharon. 606 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:41,359 [Freddie] Come on, baby. 607 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,399 - [Tony] Archie! - [Archie] Mmm. 608 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,760 [groans] 609 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,239 Best night I've had since being a deb. 610 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:53,359 - [tapping on window] - [chuckles] 611 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,240 [howling, screaming] 612 00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,839 [exclaiming, chuckling] 613 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,399 [Tony grumbles] Come on. 614 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,159 Shelley Makepiece is a common slut. 615 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,959 And that O'Hara girl is a minx, and you are under no circumstances 616 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,279 allowed to fraternise with either one of them. 617 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,559 It's not a war, Dad. 618 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:12,639 Of course it is! 619 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,799 Everything's a war! 620 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:14,720 Oh. 621 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,719 [Tony] Maybe one of the London bohos have OD'd. 622 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,599 They've been doing cocaine in the loos all night. 623 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,720 Hmm. 624 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,559 [sniffles] Please don't tell anyone. 625 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,319 If Tony finds out, he'll sack me. 626 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:29,399 What are you doing? 627 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,039 Stop it, please! Can you-- 628 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,039 - Was it you that called the ambulance? - Yeah, he's got pain in his chest. 629 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,439 [sniffles] I'm just finding it 630 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,319 - a little bit difficult to breathe. - Stop it! 631 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,439 [paramedic] It's all right. 632 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,919 [Taggie] Call me whenever. I'm always here and happy to help. 633 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,319 - I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. - It's okay. 634 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,599 It's all right. Just put this over like this... 635 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,240 - [Charles sobbing, panting] - [paramedic] Nice, deep breath. 636 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,160 - It's all right. Calm down. - [sobbing continues] 637 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:51,959 [sighs] 638 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,840 - [paramedic 2] Tell me what happened. - [Charles sobs] 639 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,039 [sobbing, gasping] 640 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,840 [birds chirping] 641 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,560 [♪ "Avalon" playing] 642 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:10,840 [sighs] 643 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,519 [Rupert] There you are. What are you doing? 644 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,960 I'm just trying to find your knives and forks. We borrowed them for the party. 645 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,719 You have to stop. Not everything is your responsibility, Taggie. 646 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:35,279 No. No, there's just too much to do. I'm sorry. 647 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,159 It's just, Mummy spent way too much money on the party. 648 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,999 There's no one to pay the deejays, 649 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,879 someone's broken a window in the kitchen, 650 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,319 and there is vomit all over the yellow sofa. 651 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,319 And do you know what I just had to do? 652 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,559 I just had to put Charles in an ambulance 653 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,359 and some awful man took a photo as he was getting in. 654 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,400 [sighs] He just looks so alone. 655 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,880 I mean, are we all just alone? I mean, Ralphie doesn't love me. 656 00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,440 What if no one ever loves me? 657 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:07,560 Promise you that someone will love you. 658 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:10,679 [sighs] 659 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:11,920 [Rupert] Just-- 660 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,200 - You need to go to bed. [chuckles] - [laughs] 661 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,160 - To sleep. [chuckling] - [chuckles] 662 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,080 I'll deal with the deejays and, uh, the sofa, and the window. 663 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,680 [sighs] I'm sorry I was so beastly to you earlier. 664 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,960 You're not that bad, really. 665 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,200 Let me take those. 666 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,120 [growls, barks] 667 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,800 Well, you may have forgiven me, but Gertrude certainly hasn't. 668 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:04,960 [barks] 669 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,520 Are you trying to seduce me? 670 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,280 - Always. - Oh, good. 671 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,160 Lady in red. 672 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,320 [chuckles] 673 00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,840 - [Taggie chuckles] - [birds chirping] 674 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:05,080 Thank you. For everything. 675 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,080 You're the one we should all be thanking. 676 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,319 Put on an incredible party. 677 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,120 No idea how you held it all together. 678 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,880 You are a remarkable person, Taggie. 679 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,120 - [sighs] - [Taggie breathing deeply] 680 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:42,440 [Rupert sighs] 681 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:53,159 [Cameron] Okay, who the hell has a camel on their birthday? 682 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,240 - [Patrick] Me and Jesus. A lot in common. - [Cameron laughing] 683 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,400 How come you're not with your folks for Christmas? 684 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:02,119 You know, past the age of 25, 685 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,800 we don't tend to talk about our parents all that much. 686 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,200 I just want to know everything about you. 687 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:10,840 [chuckles] 688 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:16,679 Okay. 689 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,840 Well, my parents divorced when I was 14. 690 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,279 My dad is a teacher. 691 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:23,559 My mom's an activist. 692 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,319 She wanted to change the world, 693 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,960 but she didn't really want to have to change her schedule for her family. 694 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,959 Anyway, she ended up meeting someone new 695 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:32,720 who turned out to be an asshole, 696 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,280 and I had to grow up pretty fast. 697 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:37,360 Been on my own ever since. 698 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,799 What? So you-- you-- you make me talk about myself and now you're silent. 699 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,279 [chuckles] What, you just gonna go run off 700 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,439 and tell your dad about poor old Cameron now? 701 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:52,520 Don't be stupid. 702 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,400 I'm gonna look after you. 703 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,359 I'm gonna blot out all of the bad memories, 704 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,080 even if it takes a lifetime. 705 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,560 [chuckles] It's a lifetime now, is it? 706 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,079 All right, camel boy, what's the plan? 707 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,919 Just parties every year, 708 00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,040 flirting with older women until you die of gout at 62? 709 00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,159 I'm going to write an award-winning play 710 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,040 that changes the world and art as we know it. 711 00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,039 Holy shit. The kid's ambitious. 712 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,639 All right. 713 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:24,720 Why not? 714 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,880 What, don't you think ambition is a good thing? 715 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:37,840 [Rupert] Hi. 716 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,159 You give me the roll of photographs you took at the ambulance, 717 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,559 and I'll pose drunk on those logs, okay? 718 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,599 - Who's the guy? - Nobody. 719 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:53,079 You wouldn't get anything for them, but he's a friend, and I'd mind. 720 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:54,880 So, how drunk do you want me to be? 721 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,680 Very. Very would be good. 722 00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:59,480 Very it is. 723 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:05,800 [Rupert groans] 724 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:07,920 [chuckles] 725 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,760 It seems like you've had a happy New Year. 726 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,159 Thanks, boss. Think I've got what I need. 727 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:19,520 I'll be off home. 728 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,280 Great. Well, Happy New Year. 729 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:47,840 [Declan] Did he touch you? 730 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:00,920 You would have liked him to though, wouldn't you? 731 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,760 What do you want me to say, Declan? 732 00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,320 You used to give me attention, and now you go to work. 733 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:15,160 You get to go and be the big man, and I'm just left here rotting. 734 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:22,360 [whimpering] I used to be fucking beautiful. 735 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:26,680 You still are. 736 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,200 How would you have liked him to touch you? 737 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:45,440 [breathing shakily] 738 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,000 And then what would he do? 739 00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,400 [breathing heavily] 740 00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:04,080 [gasps, sighs] 741 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,480 [moaning] 742 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,440 [breathing heavily, moaning] 743 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,719 So, do the English mash everything because they've got such terrible teeth, 744 00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:32,679 or is this some weird, wanting-to-be-a-baby bullshit? 745 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,079 Kedgeree's just another thing they stole during the empire. 746 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:36,760 Oh, okay. Fun. 747 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:42,200 - All right. Well, I should go. - No, no, no, don't go. 748 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,519 I have to go back to university later today, 749 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,239 and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. 750 00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:49,319 Yeah. Well, I have to. I have work. 751 00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,520 [sighs] Okay. 752 00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:55,640 I'll run you home. 753 00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:00,319 One, I have my own car because I'm a grown-up. 754 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,519 And two, my home is paid for by my boss 755 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:05,279 who I also happen to be sleeping with. 756 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,399 So I don't think he'd much like you dropping me home, 757 00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:08,639 - but thank you. - [chuckles] 758 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:10,720 You're sleeping with Tony Baddingham? 759 00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:13,079 He's so old. You can do so much better. 760 00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,280 Yeah, I don't remember asking for your advice. 761 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,399 Tony is smart, powerful, and he built a company from the ground up. 762 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,480 - [stammers] - So when you do that, give me a call. 763 00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:26,040 Ciao. 764 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:32,560 Ciao. 765 00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:38,880 [Rupert] Happy New Year, Rocky. 766 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,080 I have something for you. 767 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:53,400 [chuckles] 768 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:56,400 [sighs] 769 00:49:01,240 --> 00:49:02,560 [blusters] 770 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:04,360 Here you go. 771 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,200 [yawns] 772 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:29,439 [Tony] Fun night? 773 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,600 [gasps] Shit. 774 00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:34,040 I've been looking at your contract. 775 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:39,279 You want to leave now or work your six-week notice? 776 00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,240 What? Why? 777 00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,559 You cannot fire me. 778 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,199 I'm the best person you've got and I've done nothing wrong. 779 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,919 - I told you not to go to that party. - It was New Year's Eve, Tony. 780 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,359 I wanted to go out, and you don't get 781 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,959 - to control every single thing I do. - This is my life, Cameron, 782 00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,160 you do not get to fuck with it. 783 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,559 I'm not in the business of hiring whores! 784 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,839 Hmm. So, you're allowed to flirt with Sarah Stratton, and fuck your wife, 785 00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,800 but I can't go to a party or so much as look at another man? 786 00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,639 - Oh, you're jealous? - Fuck off, Tony. 787 00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,119 - Did you sleep with him? - No. 788 00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,400 - So why are you wearing his clothes? - We went for a walk and I got cold. 789 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,119 Tell me the truth. Did you have sex with that boy? 790 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,640 No. Nothing happened. 791 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,640 You promise me you will never see him again. 792 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,000 [stammers] I promise. 793 00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,239 I can't, Tony. I-- No, I can't. 794 00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:37,679 - You can. - I'm tired. 795 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:41,920 You can if you want to be promoted to Controller of Programmes. 796 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,280 Then you better fuck me as hard as you can. 797 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:51,960 [breathing heavily] 798 00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:56,440 - Thanks for the washing, Tag. - You're welcome. 799 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,759 I'm sorry you didn't find anyone last night. 800 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,800 Actually did end up meeting someone rather interesting. 801 00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:05,759 - Who? - I knew you would. 802 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,039 I saw Cameron leaving this morning. Any celestial light? 803 00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:10,519 She's overflowing with it. 804 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,839 You can't fall in love with her. Daddy says she's a monster. 805 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,279 I think Patrick should fall in love with whoever he wants. 806 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,479 Daddy's not always right. 807 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,280 I wholeheartedly agree. 808 00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:29,199 Who is it? 809 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,319 - Oh, my God. Tell me. - [chucking] Stop. 810 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:32,799 Did you snog somebody? 811 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,960 No, not yet.